Where is family therapy in psychology?
Karuna Kunwar, Psychologist (Family Therapist). Sex is not talked about openly in Nepal. As much as sex is discussed, or it is made too complicated, or too light. As a result, it has become a topic of discussion for some and an exaggeration for many.
Even after Freud explained long ago that all human actions are based on sex, even the Nepali intellectuals who have read Freud have not been able to accept it. Psychologist Karuna Kunwar is clear on this serious issue. Karuna, who has been doing research on psychology and family stress for 12 years, admits that Nepali sexual psychology is becoming more complex.
Her research has shown that the marital relationship of many couples is breaking down due to the sexual behavior of Nepalis and the stress it is creating. Karuna, a special disciple of German psychologist Dorothy Weiner, talks about the sexual psychology of Nepalis.
You are more than a family therapist, where is family therapy in psychology?
- Psychology is a big subject. All the changes in the world are made possible by human psychology. An important part of that human being is his family. Family therapy covers how a person's psychology causes problems in the family and how to solve them. This means that if your family member has a problem, the family therapist can solve that problem.
I found out that many couples come to you for treatment. What are the main problems of couples?
- Whether it is a man or a woman, in the beginning, they come with the problem that their partner's temperament is not right and they don't behave properly. When talking, the main thing is to get stuck in sex. In other words, if there is a problem in any couple, then I found that the root of that problem is somehow manifested in their attitudes and behaviors related to sex.
How many couples have problems with sex? What is the percentage? 99 percent. Some couples are not happy from the beginning, it is a different matter if their marriage was actually against their will, otherwise, the couple will have sexual problems in one way or another. World-class studies say the same thing. I have found the same in my practice.
Can you give some examples?
- Many couples come to me with problems after 5-7 years of marriage. At that time, their relationship is almost broken. When blaming each other, they blame each other for coming home late, drinking alcohol, not giving time, or the wife squealing, spending unnecessarily. But why didn't the first year of marriage feel bad? If you ask that question, they remain silent.
In the first year, they don't feel bad about it, because their sex is much better then than it is now. At that time, they give time to each other, their looks and personalities are praised. As the marriage gets older, those activities decrease, and the relationship deteriorates.
How is the sexual activity of Nepalis, what is the problem?
- Generally, Nepalis do not know how to have sex. In the minds of Nepalis, the only focus is on the fact that male sex enters the vagina of a woman. While sex is the last thing. Before that, a lot of things, things to do, things to attract are included in sex. Many do not pay attention to it. The main thing is that men tend to be obsessed with sex.
And women also think that they have sacrificed for men. That's where the problem begins. In fact, we are not clear about who the sex is for and why. What is the reason for Nepali women not being able to enjoy sex? They are taught from an early age that sex is a bad thing in one way or another.
You shouldn't have sex before marriage, having sex with a heterosexual man is a sin, it is a man's job to make a woman suffer. Educated women may think that they have a lot of knowledge about sex, but they can't enjoy it openly because of such things in their subconscious minds. Some of you women can't be naked during sex. You may have heard that they do not like to have sex by lighting a lamp. The main reason for this is their aversion to sex. When being naked is like a must for sex.
Even after Freud explained long ago that all human actions are based on sex, even the Nepali intellectuals who have read Freud have not been able to accept it. Psychologist Karuna Kunwar is clear on this serious issue. Karuna, who has been doing research on psychology and family stress for 12 years, admits that Nepali sexual psychology is becoming more complex.
Her research has shown that the marital relationship of many couples is breaking down due to the sexual behavior of Nepalis and the stress it is creating. Karuna, a special disciple of German psychologist Dorothy Weiner, talks about the sexual psychology of Nepalis.
You are more than a family therapist, where is family therapy in psychology?
- Psychology is a big subject. All the changes in the world are made possible by human psychology. An important part of that human being is his family. Family therapy covers how a person's psychology causes problems in the family and how to solve them. This means that if your family member has a problem, the family therapist can solve that problem.
I found out that many couples come to you for treatment. What are the main problems of couples?
- Whether it is a man or a woman, in the beginning, they come with the problem that their partner's temperament is not right and they don't behave properly. When talking, the main thing is to get stuck in sex. In other words, if there is a problem in any couple, then I found that the root of that problem is somehow manifested in their attitudes and behaviors related to sex.
How many couples have problems with sex? What is the percentage? 99 percent. Some couples are not happy from the beginning, it is a different matter if their marriage was actually against their will, otherwise, the couple will have sexual problems in one way or another. World-class studies say the same thing. I have found the same in my practice.
Can you give some examples?
- Many couples come to me with problems after 5-7 years of marriage. At that time, their relationship is almost broken. When blaming each other, they blame each other for coming home late, drinking alcohol, not giving time, or the wife squealing, spending unnecessarily. But why didn't the first year of marriage feel bad? If you ask that question, they remain silent.
In the first year, they don't feel bad about it, because their sex is much better then than it is now. At that time, they give time to each other, their looks and personalities are praised. As the marriage gets older, those activities decrease, and the relationship deteriorates.
How is the sexual activity of Nepalis, what is the problem?
- Generally, Nepalis do not know how to have sex. In the minds of Nepalis, the only focus is on the fact that male sex enters the vagina of a woman. While sex is the last thing. Before that, a lot of things, things to do, things to attract are included in sex. Many do not pay attention to it. The main thing is that men tend to be obsessed with sex.
And women also think that they have sacrificed for men. That's where the problem begins. In fact, we are not clear about who the sex is for and why. What is the reason for Nepali women not being able to enjoy sex? They are taught from an early age that sex is a bad thing in one way or another.
You shouldn't have sex before marriage, having sex with a heterosexual man is a sin, it is a man's job to make a woman suffer. Educated women may think that they have a lot of knowledge about sex, but they can't enjoy it openly because of such things in their subconscious minds. Some of you women can't be naked during sex. You may have heard that they do not like to have sex by lighting a lamp. The main reason for this is their aversion to sex. When being naked is like a must for sex.
In the urban areas of Nepal, men and women are becoming liberal in sex, at the same time it is heard that there are various uses in sex, how is it taken?
- Sex toys are being sold in the city. At first, I thought that only young people know about sex toys. But a one-week study found that people from all walks of life go to sex shops. It seems that people are becoming more liberal in sex. However, what kind of sex or bad is determined by the sexual behavior between the two. If both of them are completely satisfied during sexual activity, then that activity is good even if it is unnatural for others, if they are not satisfied, then we say natural is also bad.
- Sex toys are being sold in the city. At first, I thought that only young people know about sex toys. But a one-week study found that people from all walks of life go to sex shops. It seems that people are becoming more liberal in sex. However, what kind of sex or bad is determined by the sexual behavior between the two. If both of them are completely satisfied during sexual activity, then that activity is good even if it is unnatural for others, if they are not satisfied, then we say natural is also bad.
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